So I Married a Gay Man.....

It's been exactly 24 weeks since my husband disclosed that he has unwanted same sex attraction.  It seems strange to write 24 weeks, because it feels more like 24 months.  We have traveled so far in such a short amount of time.  I no longer feel like I am on a roller coaster of emotions - life feels steady and normal again.  I don't cry very often and I don't look like a hot mess on the daily. My husband often remarks that it so strange to be known; to talk openly with me and be completely honest.  Spending his entire life with no one to talk to openly was literally killing him.  Talking about it just seems normal to me now, though occasionally one or both of us are caught off guard by the level of honesty and depth of intimacy that we now share.  He is still amazed that I love him anyway. We are still on a road of healing and wholeness.  We have read a ton of books, articles, and blogs, as well as listened to many podcasts (as you may know).  We are still seeing a coun

I've been processing how important boundaries are in relationships.  I keep hearing/reading stories about women that are in really destructive relationships.  I'm heartbroken for them.  If you or someone you know is living with infidelity - this one is for you.  I am not a counselor, nor an expert of any kind.  These are just my personal thoughts. 1.  If your spouse is actively or repeatedly cheating on you - do NOT be physically intimate with them.  This is a danger to your physical safety, to say nothing of your emotional and spiritual safety.  If this upsets/bothers/angers your spouse - that is their problem!  They have crossed the line and any repercussions they feel or experience are due to their own failure - not yours.  Do not own their problem. 2.  You need at least 30 to 90 days of abstinence for several reasons.  Sex addiction recovery programs all recognize the need for abstinence during recovery.  You may have been exposed to STDs. You and your spouse should ge

So you have friends that are gay.  You don't want to offend them; you want to love them.  You want them to know that Jesus loves them too.  Your heart hurts when they hurt.  In order to make it easier on them (and you), you decide to reject the clear teaching of scripture.  It's easier to say the Bible is wrong than to say your friend is wrong.  I get it. My best friend is gay.  He's also my husband.  He knows the truth of the Bible and he's trying really hard to live according to God's will as revealed in the Bible.  It's not an easy path.  But one day I want him to hear the words, "Well done my good and faithful servant.  Enter into my rest."  It is our firm belief that people that live in open rebellion towards God's ways will not get to hear those words. Every time a prominent Christian changes their view on homosexuality, a little piece of me dies.  You are just adding another voice to the temptation for Christians that are struggling to l