So I Married a Gay Man.....

It's been a while since I have reviewed any books and that's simply because I haven't been reading any.  Well, I've been reading but only my daily Bible reading and books related to my job.  For my summer reading, I am staying away from anything SSA specific and sticking with books I can take to the pool and the beach without hiding the cover.  I'm on vacation and devouring books, so here goes! I had the pleasure of hearing Bob Goff speak several months ago and he was funny, encouraging, and challenging all at the same time - and that's difficult to pull off.  He has the energy and enthusiasm of a preteen, the humility of a monk, and the wisdom of a sage.  His recent book, Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People , has the same combination of encouragement and challenge mixed in with humor and engaging stories.  The book's focus is on loving others well; loving them like Jesus does.  And not just our fri

It's been exactly 39 weeks since my husband disclosed that he has unwanted same sex attraction.   I wish I could say that it has only gotten easier, but in truth the past few months have been hard.  The deeper we dig the more difficult this journey becomes. It does feel like we have come a long way, but I also know that we still have a long way yet to go.  And that can be discouraging.  Someone recently said that this journey feels painstakingly slow for the wife and breathtakingly fast for the husband.  That is definitely true for us! So what does our journey look like right now?  The Journey into Manhood weekend was super helpful and Brother's Road continues to be a resource for both of us with weekly conference calls of support.  I'm planning on attending a weekend conference in the fall.  We are still seeing a therapist, both separately and together.  We are still reading books and listening to blogs and trying to learn how to move forward.  My husband has st

Worries... we all have them.  Women in mixed-orientation marriages, we have a lot!  It's just so outside of the mainstream idea of love and marriage.  It brings out a lot of insecurity , fear , and worry.  It often feels lonely. Worrying is defined as: giving way to anxiety ; allowing one's mind to dwell on difficulties or troubles.  These actually give great insight on how to fight against worry in our lives.  First of all, don't give way.  When we give way to anxiety we are putting it first and letting it have control in our lives.  The antidote to giving way to anxiety is to put God first, where he belongs.  "Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."  (Matt 6:33)  Secondly, don't allow your mind to dwell on your troubles.  We are called to take our thoughts captive and to fix our thoughts on, or dwell on, things that are true, pure, lovely, and excellent (2 Cor 10:3-5, Phil 4:8). If all I do

I think I've always been a fearful person.  I slept with a light on until... well until I got married, at which point I still wanted a nightlight.  I was afraid of the dark, getting bad grades, bugs and spiders, and my father.  I may have grown up but somehow I brought the fear with me. Now my fears center around my marriage.  Am I enough for him?  Does he really love me?  Can he really love me?  Will he ever leave me?  Can we make it?  Is divorce inevitable? Am I strong enough for this?  Are we strong enough for this? Why did God allow this?  Is God even with me?  With us?  These thoughts, and many more, swirl around and around inside my head. I'm trying to not listen to my fears but to listen to the Lord instead.  It's not always easy.  So many times scripture says to have courage and not be afraid.  But it does tell us who to fear - the Lord, not man (Matt 10:28).  And God shows mercy to those that fear him (Ps 103:11, Luke 1:50).  So I'm trying to have a righ

It's Pride month!  This month brings up all of my mixed emotions.  Never before has this month really made me pause and think.  Oh sure, I mean I thought about it - but never this deeply, because it simply was never personal for me before. My thoughts on Pride month last year: I don't hate anyone, but really stop shoving your agenda and flaunting your sexuality in my face.  If you want to be gay, be gay - it doesn't really affect me.  I actually feel kinda sorry for you, but I can't say that because it's not politically correct.  Also, I think it's wrong, but I'm not one that's going to shove my religious convictions in your face. So, maybe you can stop, too?  Probably not. My thoughts on Pride month this year:  My best-friend, husband, lover is gay.  Wow!  Suddenly it's personal.  Everywhere I go there are reminders of Pride month - Target, Walmart, Snapchat, Google, Facebook - I can't escape it.  I've read and learned so much in the p