Putting the puzzle together

I've been married to my husband for over twenty years.  We love each other deeply.  We have several kids and a dog.  We have traveled the world together.  We share everything.  Or so I thought.

A few weeks ago my husband finally confessed to me that he is gay.  He always has been.  He has known since he was eight years old.  For the past 35 years he has kept this secret - from everyone.

I guess I should have known.  He says he has tried to tell me many times, dropping hints and hoping I would catch on.  But love is blind.  I would never have guessed his secret.  After all, he had been practicing hiding and lying for over a decade before I even met him.  Even in his confession he couldn't say the words.  I was contemplating several things in our marriage that didn't make sense and recounting past hurts.  All he could say was, "You have all the pieces to the puzzle.  Please put the puzzle together."  And in a moment of clarity I asked, "Are you trying to tell me you are gay?"  Yes, yes he was.

So, I married a gay man.  And as I come to grips with what this means, I have decided to blog about it.  This will be an anonymous blog because we are not "out" as a mixed orientation couple.  Our kids don't know, our friends don't know, and our families don't know.

I want to be clear about our beliefs and how this will influence our marriage and this blog.
1.  We are evangelical Christians.  We believe what the Bible says and that we must obey it.
2.  We are side-B, non-affirming Christians.  That means that we do not believe it is God's plan to practice homosexuality - not even monogamous homosexual relationships.
3.  I will probably use the terms SSA (same-sex attraction) and gay interchangeably.  We do not believe that same-sex attraction in itself is a sin.  When I use the term gay I am referring to attraction and not to the practice of homosexuality.