A hard conversation
Our daughter is home from college for Christmas break. We tend to have a lot of deep conversation when she's home - religion, politics, current events, you name it. She and I were driving home yesterday and got into one of these discussions. We ended up talking about the gay agenda, how we treat LGBT people in the church (we agreed that the church needs a lot of work in this area), and specifically a friend of hers that is a Christian and gay and trying to navigate his theology and sexuality.
She has such a heart of compassion for all people, and this friend is no different. She has no idea what side A and side B even mean, but based on our conversation she is side B. Her friend isn't sure where he lands on the issue yet. He's confused as to why God would make him gay knowing that he would never be happy in a relationship. My daughter felt sad that he would be lonely. I asked her why he thought loneliness was the only option. After all, he could choose to get married to a woman if he wanted to honor God with his sexuality and not be lonely. She was a bit confused at first. I explained that there were lots of Christians that decided to get married even if they are gay.
Her next question was a doozy.
"What woman would want to marry a gay man knowing that he wasn't attracted to her?"
You probably could have knocked me over with a feather, but I recovered quickly. I tried to explain the other, more important aspects of marriage - faith, friendship, vision, values, etc. I explained that even in a straight relationship attraction fades and is replaced with true intimacy. That "maybe" that's where these couples start out.
With a tear in her eye she said, "I just feel so sorry for those women being married to someone that was never attracted to them, not even when they were young and looking their best. I just think that would be so hard."
Yes, my sweet girl, it sometimes is. But then you wouldn't be here if it weren't for a gay man that chose to get married. And you are totally worth it.
She has such a heart of compassion for all people, and this friend is no different. She has no idea what side A and side B even mean, but based on our conversation she is side B. Her friend isn't sure where he lands on the issue yet. He's confused as to why God would make him gay knowing that he would never be happy in a relationship. My daughter felt sad that he would be lonely. I asked her why he thought loneliness was the only option. After all, he could choose to get married to a woman if he wanted to honor God with his sexuality and not be lonely. She was a bit confused at first. I explained that there were lots of Christians that decided to get married even if they are gay.
Her next question was a doozy.
"What woman would want to marry a gay man knowing that he wasn't attracted to her?"
You probably could have knocked me over with a feather, but I recovered quickly. I tried to explain the other, more important aspects of marriage - faith, friendship, vision, values, etc. I explained that even in a straight relationship attraction fades and is replaced with true intimacy. That "maybe" that's where these couples start out.
With a tear in her eye she said, "I just feel so sorry for those women being married to someone that was never attracted to them, not even when they were young and looking their best. I just think that would be so hard."
Yes, my sweet girl, it sometimes is. But then you wouldn't be here if it weren't for a gay man that chose to get married. And you are totally worth it.
Comments
Post a Comment
All comments will be moderated. Thank you for your patience.