Journey into Manhood
So, I mentioned a month ago that my husband was going to do some in-depth therapy. Technically it's not therapy, but "an experiential weekend of of self-discovery, brotherhood, personal-growth, and inner-healing work." And it's awesome.
I was somewhat skeptical, but figured it couldn't hurt. I wasn't expecting a cure for SSA. In fact, I was just hoping he could come away with less shame and maybe some deeper understanding of himself. Besides, what do we have to lose? But that was when he signed up a few months ago. Then I fell into a deep depression. I suddenly became fearful. A group of men that all struggle with SSA, together? for a weekend? What was I thinking???
But I determined to remain calm and trust God. I prayed A LOT.
And you know what happened? God showed up. He really did. My husband did a lot of that inner-healing work. He dealt with childhood trauma. He dealt with his shame. He came back exhausted. He came back changed. It was like seeing the man I married again, a man I haven't seen in a long time. We cried together A LOT. He is saying all of things I've always wanted and needed to hear AND it's believable. I haven't felt this confident and hopeful since that day of disclosure in September.
I know he's still on an emotional high from his experience, and I know there will still be tough days ahead. I also know that his experience changed him and he has a great network of accountability and friendship now. I have a lot more to say about this, but for now - here is some information regarding Journey into Manhood.
I was somewhat skeptical, but figured it couldn't hurt. I wasn't expecting a cure for SSA. In fact, I was just hoping he could come away with less shame and maybe some deeper understanding of himself. Besides, what do we have to lose? But that was when he signed up a few months ago. Then I fell into a deep depression. I suddenly became fearful. A group of men that all struggle with SSA, together? for a weekend? What was I thinking???
But I determined to remain calm and trust God. I prayed A LOT.
And you know what happened? God showed up. He really did. My husband did a lot of that inner-healing work. He dealt with childhood trauma. He dealt with his shame. He came back exhausted. He came back changed. It was like seeing the man I married again, a man I haven't seen in a long time. We cried together A LOT. He is saying all of things I've always wanted and needed to hear AND it's believable. I haven't felt this confident and hopeful since that day of disclosure in September.
I know he's still on an emotional high from his experience, and I know there will still be tough days ahead. I also know that his experience changed him and he has a great network of accountability and friendship now. I have a lot more to say about this, but for now - here is some information regarding Journey into Manhood.
As a product of sexual abuse for many years starting at the age of 7 or 8, it led me to having experiences in middle school, high school and college, and sadly, some after I married. Although I have not had an encounter with anyone for 38 years, the SSA has still been an issue. In the fall of 2019, I wanted to break free. It was hell to go through but the bad days are fewer and fewer. Your husband is a very brave man. I hope you know that, and I admire your willingness to travel with your husband through this difficult time. You too, are a brave wife!
ReplyDeleteMy wife knows about my abuse as a kid but nothing else. I have been blessed by a circle of two very close friends, my physician, my Christian therapist, and two other guys that know of my past. I have gone from not wanting to live, to being able to face each day. At the age of 63, and 42 years of marriage, this has been a huge burden to carry. Will I ever tell my wife? I don't know. Would there be more freedom in my life? I believe so. Thank you for writing your thoughts, your experiences. What has been done to children.....your husband.....me......and so many others, I would have never thought would have created such a damaged brain and heart. Thank you again for sharing your experience.