I belong in the closet
A lot of things changed for me last September. A lot of things changed in me, too. The best change has been in my prayer life. I have never felt like I had a strong prayer life; it's been the weakest spiritual discipline for me. Also, I'm not a morning person. I'm a sleep-as-long-as-possible person and a need-several-cups-of-coffee-to-get-started person. But all of that changed in an instant.
The morning after my husband disclosed his SSA to me, I woke up suddenly very early in the morning with an urgent need to pray. I prayed and wept for about half an hour. The next morning was the same. And the morning after that, and the morning after that... and it hasn't stopped. I don't need to set an alarm. I don't go to bed earlier. God just gently wakes me each morning with a reminder to pray.
As this became a pattern, I needed to find a place to pray. I didn't want to wake everyone up (from the weeping). So, I've ended up in the closet. It's dark and quiet, and I can be alone with God. Being alone with God is exactly what I need to start each day. This road has been difficult and prayer is what holds me together. I honestly don't know where we'd be without consistent prayer. I need to be in that closet praying, crying out to God.
Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. Ephesians 6:10-12,18
The morning after my husband disclosed his SSA to me, I woke up suddenly very early in the morning with an urgent need to pray. I prayed and wept for about half an hour. The next morning was the same. And the morning after that, and the morning after that... and it hasn't stopped. I don't need to set an alarm. I don't go to bed earlier. God just gently wakes me each morning with a reminder to pray.
As this became a pattern, I needed to find a place to pray. I didn't want to wake everyone up (from the weeping). So, I've ended up in the closet. It's dark and quiet, and I can be alone with God. Being alone with God is exactly what I need to start each day. This road has been difficult and prayer is what holds me together. I honestly don't know where we'd be without consistent prayer. I need to be in that closet praying, crying out to God.
Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. Ephesians 6:10-12,18
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