Soul Mates

-

Soul mates - it's a term I have loved and hated at different times in my life.  On the one hand, I hate the idea that there's "the one" out there that's perfect for me.  Because, what if I don't find him?  Or what if I make a mistake and choose the wrong one?  It sounds like a foolish fairy tale to me.  And maybe like an excuse to cut and run when things don't end up how I imagined.  
Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? by [Thomas, Gary]On the other hand, I like the idea that God knew exactly who I should spend the rest of my life with.  This looks less like a fairy tale and more like a refiner's fire.  Long before I knew about my husband's SSA, we read a book together that I loved, Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? by Gary Thomas.  The subtitle says it all.  Marriage has made me grow closer to God.  And what if this is what being soul mates is really all about?  A mate for my soul, not my flesh.  Someone that cares for my soul and leads me to Jesus.  And I do the same for him.  This is a definition I can get behind.  Do I love my husband with a romantic love?  Absolutely!  But more than anything I want him to see Jesus face to face.  I want to care for his soul more than I care for his earthly body.  And I want him to care for me in that way, too.
It's our anniversary.  I'm so glad that God brought us together to care for one another's souls.





Comments

Post a Comment

All comments will be moderated. Thank you for your patience.

Popular posts from this blog

It's been 186 weeks

-
 It's been 186 weeks since my husband disclosed his SSA.  Y'all I don't know what I was thinking when I started this whole counting weeks thing! 😂 Here we are about three and half years in. Did I think it would last this long? Maybe not, but I'm glad it did. To recap the last few years of my life: 2017-2018 my husband was losing his mind but I had no idea why Sept 2018 we came to a breaking point and he confessed his SSA and some indiscretions, we call this D-day late 2018 - mid 2019 we did a lot of therapy, I started this blog, there was some progress Aug 2019 D-day part 2 where the whole story comes out, I'm devastated late 2019 - early 2020 more therapy and whole lot of depression April 2020 I moved away to start a new job, not sure if he would follow me or not (he was invited) June 2020 he quit his job and moved in with me mid - late 2020 still on a roller-coaster , not sure if we would make it 2021 - things were finally looking up !! 2022 - dare I say our li...
Read more

Happy Anniversary

-
Image
This is the bag we packed to go away for our 25th anniversary. This is pretty amazing to me because a year or two ago I wasn't sure if our marriage would last. Less than a year ago I wasn't sure I wanted it to. This journey has been longer and harder than I ever imagined. I have learned more about my husband and myself than I thought possible (and maybe more than I wanted to!). The book you see here has been super helpful over the past few months. And fittingly we are finishing the last exercise this weekend. I don't want to spoil it for you - because you should 100% do this - but the last exercise was super healing and beautiful. You will want to get the actual book (not pictured) and two workbooks (pictured) to get the most out of this. We went away for the weekend and had a wonderful time together. It felt like old times, before D-day. Just a normal married couple celebrating an anniversary. I hope we get to celebrate many more.
Read more

Healthy SSA Friends

-
The topic of how men with SSA can have healthy friendships with other men with SSA comes up a lot. I mean, I get it - it seems counterintuitive, almost crazy to let two SSA men form a close friendship. But it can and should be done. I've already talked about my fears when he first went to meet a bunch of other SSA men . And I've talked about the friends we have made through Brothers Road - some of those friendships have lasted and others have not. So now I want to talk about my husband's best friend. My husband has always had a hard time having close relationships with men (I knew this long before I understood why). He once had a really close friendship that was so good for him and super healthy... until this friend betrayed him, which was one of the events that led to his deep depression, acting out, and ultimately confessing to me about his SSA. But I digress. Through Brothers Road, my husband met a great guy.  I'm going to call him Leo here. They have built a beauti...
Read more