For Better, For Worse

I don't know about you, but my husband and I exchanged traditional vows at our wedding.

"...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part..."

I was young when we got married and had no idea what that really meant.  I couldn't really imagine what worse could look like.  I certainly would never have guessed that it would mean same-sex attraction.  Dealing with this season of "for worse" has included a lot of hard work.  Sometimes it seems like we aren't getting anywhere.  Most of the time it just feels like two steps forward and one step back. 

My husband loves to keep the garage organized but it doesn't take long before it is a complete mess.  Then he goes out there to clean it all up again.  But you know what happens first?  When you start to clean up a mess it often looks worse than when you started.  You have to take everything out and sort it.  You make piles for trash, recycling, donations, etc.  You slowly start to put things where they belong.  You may even have to buy storage containers or shelves; especially if you've never really organized it all before.  But eventually it starts to look better.  The hard work pays off and you can step back and really see the difference.

The past eleven months we have spent a lot of time pulling out all of our "stuff".  We've sorted it and labeled it.  We've put some in the trash and kept what is meaningful and useful.  And we are finally starting to see progress.  To see the "for better" peeking through.  It's helpful to remember that the mess is a necessary and important part of the process.  I know that, just like our garage, the work is never really finished.  It takes constant upkeep.  And sometimes you just have to pull it all out and really make a mess before you can get to the happily ever "after".