Together in Love

Last weekend my husband and I attended a marriage retreat for mixed orientation couples.  The part I was most excited about was finally getting to meet one of my best mixed orientation marriage friends.  She and I have only ever talked on the phone, we've never met in person.  It was so much fun to hang out in real life!!

Then came the actual retreat.  We went into the weekend feeling good.  I was not prepared for all of the hard work we were going to do!  The first night ended terribly.  Every single marriage exercise we participated in ended in an argument.  It was NOT pretty.  I decided it was a mistake to even be there.  We had some one-on-one time with a wiser couple and went to bed exhausted.

The next day we were able to see some of the bad communication habits that we have developed in the past year.  The stress and anxiety of the past year had really taken a toll on our communication.  I was able to identify my tendency towards criticism and he could see his towards defensiveness.  We really haven't been listening to each other for a while.   We learned several communication techniques and how to use them during the weekend.  One of our "practice" sessions has already made a huge difference!  I was finally able to let go of a distressing thought that has bothered me for some time. 

The final day was filled with peace and hope for us.  We made commitments to one another.  One of ours was to check in with each other daily.  We had tried checking in weekly before but had gotten out of the habit.  We left feeling like we had actually made some progress in our relationship - something we both wanted but were having a hard time with.  I am so glad we went, faced our problems, did the hard work, and learned to love one another better.