Vulnerability
My husband loves to read books by Brene' Brown. Well actually he loves to listen to them, because she reads her own audio books and she is a very gifted storyteller.
We wanted to watch something on Netflix the other night and the first thing to pop up was Brene' Brown. We were in... and it did not disappoint. In fact we paused it several times to discuss topics she brought up. It was like free counseling. Thanks Brene'!!
In my post about shame, I mentioned that the key to dealing with shame is vulnerability. Well, those two topics, shame and vulnerability, are Brene' Brown's specialty and the focus of her Netflix special. She has written several books including, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. The title of her book came from a quote by Theodore Roosevelt.
Here are some of my favorite quotes and takeaways from the special:
"If you're brave with your life, if you choose to live in the arena, you're going to get your ass kicked. You are going to fall. You are going to fail. You are going to know heartbreak."
"Vulnerability's not about winning. It's not about losing. It's having the courage to show up when you can't control the outcome." This one is HUGE for me. I cannot control the outcome. It's scary. It takes courage to stay in this marriage. It's a vulnerability I have never known before.
"If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion because you were being brave, I am not interested in or open to your feedback about my work." ... or my marriage. Seriously, I don't need your opinions about what I should or shouldn't do.
The middle of the video special is an insightful story from her life. No spoilers here. But I LOVED that she told her husband, "The story I'm telling myself right now is..." Awesome! Sound familiar?
"We want it so bad, but we're so afraid to let ourselves be seen, and we're so afraid to see people."
"To love is to be vulnerable. To give someone your heart and say, 'I know this could hurt so bad, but I'm willing to do it.I'm willing to be vulnerable and love you.'"
She ends with a list of The Myths of Vulnerability:
1. Vulnerability is weakness.
2. I don't do vulnerability.
3. I can go it alone.
4. You can engineer the uncertainty and discomfort out of vulnerability.
5. Trust comes before vulnerability.
6. Vulnerability is disclosure.
To get the full idea behind each of these myths, please go watch the Netflix special.
"Vulnerability is hard, and it's scary, and it feels dangerous, but it's not as hard, scary, or dangerous as getting to the end of our lives and having to ask ourselves, 'What if I would've shown up? What if I would have said I love you?'" Amen sister. I'm choosing to show up. I'm choosing to say, "I love you." I'm choosing to be brave even when I can't control the outcome.
We wanted to watch something on Netflix the other night and the first thing to pop up was Brene' Brown. We were in... and it did not disappoint. In fact we paused it several times to discuss topics she brought up. It was like free counseling. Thanks Brene'!!
In my post about shame, I mentioned that the key to dealing with shame is vulnerability. Well, those two topics, shame and vulnerability, are Brene' Brown's specialty and the focus of her Netflix special. She has written several books including, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. The title of her book came from a quote by Theodore Roosevelt.
Here are some of my favorite quotes and takeaways from the special:
"If you're brave with your life, if you choose to live in the arena, you're going to get your ass kicked. You are going to fall. You are going to fail. You are going to know heartbreak."
"Vulnerability's not about winning. It's not about losing. It's having the courage to show up when you can't control the outcome." This one is HUGE for me. I cannot control the outcome. It's scary. It takes courage to stay in this marriage. It's a vulnerability I have never known before.
"If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion because you were being brave, I am not interested in or open to your feedback about my work." ... or my marriage. Seriously, I don't need your opinions about what I should or shouldn't do.
The middle of the video special is an insightful story from her life. No spoilers here. But I LOVED that she told her husband, "The story I'm telling myself right now is..." Awesome! Sound familiar?
"We want it so bad, but we're so afraid to let ourselves be seen, and we're so afraid to see people."
"To love is to be vulnerable. To give someone your heart and say, 'I know this could hurt so bad, but I'm willing to do it.I'm willing to be vulnerable and love you.'"
She ends with a list of The Myths of Vulnerability:
1. Vulnerability is weakness.
2. I don't do vulnerability.
3. I can go it alone.
4. You can engineer the uncertainty and discomfort out of vulnerability.
5. Trust comes before vulnerability.
6. Vulnerability is disclosure.
To get the full idea behind each of these myths, please go watch the Netflix special.
"Vulnerability is hard, and it's scary, and it feels dangerous, but it's not as hard, scary, or dangerous as getting to the end of our lives and having to ask ourselves, 'What if I would've shown up? What if I would have said I love you?'" Amen sister. I'm choosing to show up. I'm choosing to say, "I love you." I'm choosing to be brave even when I can't control the outcome.
Your amazing posts always make my day! I really hope & prey for you to feel more secure & hopful about your already strong marriage. No body has this kind of HONESTY, RESPECT, LOVE and GODLINESS in his marriage (which is described throughout your posts) should be worried and please remember that
ReplyDeletea love story is always about love being challenged yet it is strong enough, divine enough, selfless enough to overcome the challenges and continue to flow spreading joy and fulfilment around it. These challenges could be a fatal disease, a child problem, thank God in your case it's not any thing like that but rather an unwanted purly sexual attraction that can be fulfilled in healthy ways, many people faced this challenge with love & compasion and made it ( they just don't share much leaving the stage empty to the other side) I am not in any way minimizing the challenge, but there are a context/ pattern in everyone's life I guess, which is that love is always challenged, we dont choose the challenges we face( which is true for every one) but nothing we face is beyond our capacity to handle that's God's promise for everyone on this plant & he is faithful as usual.