We are not alone
It's been two weeks since my husband attended a Journey into Manhood weekend. We were both warned that there would be a low spot about a week after his return, and they were right. There were a few difficult days of emotions and fear. But that has passed and we are in a really good place.
On the drive home from the weekend, my husband called me. One of the first things he said was, "We have new best friends!" I cried. (I do that a lot; I know.) We have never actually met another mixed-orientation couple before. To have friends that totally get us - this is amazing! I immediately contacted this new best friend, the wife, and told her, "My husband just told me that you and your husband are our new best friends. Can't wait to chat with you." Now, you have to understand I have never met or spoken to this person. I just declared that we are now best friends. She is probably going to think I'm a complete lunatic.
Instead, she replies, "No way!!! Yay!!!!" She is my kid of person. I love her already.
We have texted each other daily. We've spoken on the phone multiple times. We have video chatted with our husbands (all four of us together) a few times. It's phenomenal. And it's hard.
You see, my husband has spent his whole life avoiding other men with SSA. Actually he's avoided men in general most of the time. He definitely avoids men that are attractive. And yet here we are building a friendship with an attractive man that struggles with SSA. It's strange and new and scary. But it's also healing and affirming and necessary. We need friends. We need a community of people that understand and support us. I'm so thankful that Journey into Manhood provided us with this community.
And it's not just our new "best friends". It's many other men both married and single. It's mentors that check-in on my husband almost daily. It's text messages, phone calls, and video chats with a supportive community that we didn't even know existed. We are not alone. We really needed to know that.
On the drive home from the weekend, my husband called me. One of the first things he said was, "We have new best friends!" I cried. (I do that a lot; I know.) We have never actually met another mixed-orientation couple before. To have friends that totally get us - this is amazing! I immediately contacted this new best friend, the wife, and told her, "My husband just told me that you and your husband are our new best friends. Can't wait to chat with you." Now, you have to understand I have never met or spoken to this person. I just declared that we are now best friends. She is probably going to think I'm a complete lunatic.
Instead, she replies, "No way!!! Yay!!!!" She is my kid of person. I love her already.
We have texted each other daily. We've spoken on the phone multiple times. We have video chatted with our husbands (all four of us together) a few times. It's phenomenal. And it's hard.
You see, my husband has spent his whole life avoiding other men with SSA. Actually he's avoided men in general most of the time. He definitely avoids men that are attractive. And yet here we are building a friendship with an attractive man that struggles with SSA. It's strange and new and scary. But it's also healing and affirming and necessary. We need friends. We need a community of people that understand and support us. I'm so thankful that Journey into Manhood provided us with this community.
And it's not just our new "best friends". It's many other men both married and single. It's mentors that check-in on my husband almost daily. It's text messages, phone calls, and video chats with a supportive community that we didn't even know existed. We are not alone. We really needed to know that.
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